My 50 Pound Weight Loss Journey

My 50 Pound Weight Loss Journey


– The reason why I wanted
to do this video Joshua… – Yeah. – Is because in the BuzzFeed universe, you are this action-y,
star, muscle strong guy and people will always ask me questions because they know that we’ve
known each other for a while. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – And they’re very surprised to learn that you used to be a husky kid. – You know back then we called it fat kid, I don’t know if that’s PC, but being a former fat kid,
I’m still part of the club, so I feel like I can use that language. – So can I ask you some–
– Yeah. – Questions about you
being a former fat kid? – Yeah, let’s get into it. – Okay. So Ray, take us to the timeline. – The timeline, here we go. So about seven, I think is
when I started to get chubby and from that point on I
kind of just embraced it. I was like well alright
then I’m going to be chubby. So I would eat my lunch
and then I would sit there and wait until friends,
or other people were done and then I would eat their lunches also. They would call me the trash can because they would be like
“Hey trash can here’s mine” and I’d be like “bring it on”. I could like grab my stomach fat and like, I would make
like faces out of it and like entertain them. – Wait, did that make you feel bad at all? – It was like a role, I stepped into it and took ownership of it because it was and identity
almost, where people were like, well at least they’re
like you know, noticing me and also at that time when I
was seven too, it was like, you know, divorce, new
school, didn’t know anybody, so I’m like the loner new kid there. – So I’m just going to
embrace whatever my– – Yeah.
– Brand is. – So yeah, it became a
thing that I remember, that I weighed 100 pounds in third grade and the lady weighing me was like, “Oh.” – And then to top it off,
to make things worse, your dad, was like a
body builder, wasn’t he? – Oh, oh yeah, let me just say, the family that I was
born into, on both sides, now I’m born, I’m half
black and I’m half white. You get to see both sides of my family and my genetics are
fantastic, huge blessing. My uncle played in the NBA. My other uncle was a, like a power lifter. Studs. Studly men. I was the fat kid, it was me. So I did not fit in. My brother Jason had the
best abs in our high school, he was like known to, at least that’s the way I
heard it from other people. And there would be like
girls and even some dudes, who would be like, “Yo, your
brothers abs are like that, why aren’t yours like that” – That would drive me crazy. – Awe and then I’m just
sitting there in class like, I don’t know. When kids would make fun my brother wouldn’t go hard on it. He might kick it off
like playfully with me, saying something that he knows
isn’t going to bother me, but he says it in front of this group and then it turns into all of a sudden, 10 people are making fun of me. – Yup. – And he wouldn’t say anything to stop it and he’d be there laughing
and almost egging it on. Well that hurt and that was hard. Luckily, we’re best friends now, we’ve gotten over that. – Are there any notable memories you have from your formative fat years? – Yeah, the lack of comfort in my own skin. Always, you know, doing, doing this – Yeah. – Because you don’t
want your shirt to stick to tightly to your rolls or anything. – Yeah. – By the time I got to high school, I would wear these, these
like tight undershirts. They were like extra tight, so they would kind of
hold everything in under. – Yeah, like Spanx.
– Like almost, yeah. I was ahead of the game,
I was spanking before, okay that’s not, that’s not what we, that’s not what we,
anyway, anyway, moving on. It was funny as I got
older was when it started, the conversations and the
comments started to come more. To be honest with you. – I don’t like that it happened, but I’ve cussed out or yelled at almost every member of
my immediate family; my dad, my mom, even my grandmother because of something
they said about my weight when I was in that place. They all said things that were so hurtful. They didn’t mean to though,
they were looking out for me. And it weighed on me, but I was so broken and insecure that I didn’t
know what to do with that, so I just kept eating. – There are people that treated you a certain way when you were heavy and then a different
way when you lost wight. – By the time I started
loosing weight, yeah, you think of everybody that’s
ever said anything to you. It creates a little bit
of bitterness, you know and it’s a weird thing to go
from one thing to the other and see peoples reactions that have known you the entire time. It was a sobering feeling. I remember being at this party and expecting to feel
really good about it. look at me know, look at the attention. and the attention that I got was cool, but even though that’s what I wanted, when I got it, it didn’t feel good. – Yeah – Because you knew it wasn’t, You were like “I haven’t really changed, just the outside has”,
and all of a sudden, I’m being treated completely different. To see girls that wouldn’t give
you the time of day before, all of a sudden, wow
my jokes are funny now, that’s interesting. – Yeah, your jokes are never funny. – That’s, dammit. I empathize on the full spectrum of what it’s like to be a heavy person because the hardest part is actually taking that first step toward it. Awe, it feels so far away and then after the first workout, you’re like, that was just the first, I have this much further
to go, are you kidding me? Even that first week of a diet you feel miserable, it’s so hard. Which is why I got to
a place where I had to make it just a part of my lifestyle and it wasn’t a diet for six weeks. It wasn’t a workout program for six weeks. It’s like, no this is what I do daily, this is my routine, you
have to build it in. I’m not afraid that I’m going to– – Wake up unhealthy.
– Yeah, wake up unhealthy and like my lifestyle is going to change. It’s not a fear, it’s almost just like, there’s no way I am going back. It’s that thing to of once you taste it, the attention that you get when people see your new body, right. Then you’re kind of, you’re not necessarily even
running away from this thing, you’re making sure like I
wanna keep getting this. Eventually the compliments
and the admiration you get from like this new body.
– Yeah. – You realize how much is
shallow and doesn’t really matter and doesn’t really tie into
who you are as a person. – Yeah. – That’s when you find the balance and say “I do this for me.” I eat healthy because
that’s what feels good and what I know I should do. I work out because I enjoy it because I get to challenge myself and make myself better every single day. That’s why I do those things now. Back then it came from
having a chip on my shoulder, being insecure and feeling
like I had something to prove. Now I’m proving nothing
to anybody except myself. I look at the experience
that I went through of being a fat kid as a blessing because it helped to connect
with people in a different way and have empathy for people
that are going through things. When you’ve gone through that. – Yeah. – You have to learn how to find your self-value in a different way than people that haven’t
gone through that. People almost put you in a
place when you’re fat kid and kind of be like “This is where you are on the totem pole”. Okay, and so you have to get
yourself out of that mentality and break free of that.
– Yeah. – Which is why you just
have to find that confidence and self love–
– Yeah. – Without anybody else
and know who you are. Know what you have to
offer because otherwise you are letting other people
determine your happiness and that’s the easiest
way to not being happy. So I just want to say to
all the kids out there, like, yo if you are kind of fat, if you are overweight, if you are uncomfortable about
the way you look in some way. You are loved, you are appreciated, even when you don’t know that it’s there, I promise you. That’s one of the crazy things though, even in the midst of me being like chubby and overweight and
really, really insecure, I was always confident about my self. I didn’t understand why
it was such a big issue that I was fat because I was like “But I’m awesome, why does it matter?” – You’re still like that. – I am though, I am like that. – Yeah. (smooth jazz)

100 comments

  1. to be honest, in my elementary school, the fat kids are the cool kids. we kinda respect them because they’re taller and practically stronger. so like… we’re afraid of ‘em in a way.

  2. i cried watching this i know how it feels. oh the feelings horrible i have started to hate myself and the people around me… idk what todo

  3. I clicked on this but I didn’t think I would’ve related with him as much as I did.Ive been doing that “spanx” thing since middle school.Luckily I’ve lost like 40lbs over the past 4 years(I look pretty darn good now)but I still wear tanks under everything to avoid to smooth everything out

  4. He looks gorgeous either way in my opinion tbh. I am overweight af and I need motivation to do it, hopefully this will give me motivation but I will never know until i try 😊

  5. Her mic placement is bothering me. You're supposed to mic where you know you're going to turn your head. Her head is turned to the right yet the her mic is on her left side.

  6. You guys should make at least a week in the life of Josh, with his meals and workouts he does daily. That’d be awesome! 2 weeks or a month would be even cooler!

  7. I was big now slim but I still do that with my tops thinking I still have rolls 🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

  8. I'm in the between process because I began losing weight at 14 and now I'm 16, I've lost 70lbs but gained 30 to put on some muscle, I'm quite stumped right now because I feel lack of motivation such as today I was suppose to go run 4 miles at 4 but ended up sleeping and now its 7.. I just feel stuck and alone

  9. Last year I weighed 195 pounds and hated my body, I have lost 38 pounds since then and last month switched to a vegan diet. I'm proud of how far I've come since last year and never want to go back. I'm a little over half way to my target weight and am excited to finally be able to feel comfortable in my body!

  10. I feel like I needed to see this. I've been overweight for most of my life and I've tried to change it and lose the weight but every time I would give up and go "what's the point". I've been teased for my weight all the way into my adult life and it weighs down on you heavily. I've gotten to a point where I don't even care anymore about even trying just for me. There was a point around 14/15 when I lost like 35 pounds really fast, in like 2 1/2 months and I was already a decent size then. I'm 5'9" and I went from 189 down to 154 and I know that doesn't seem small to a lot of people but I come from family that is very muscular and athletic. My doctor at that time had told me that 145 was my "healthy weight" for my build and height and damn was she lying. I got down to 154 from a various mixture of different activity I had been doing in school like softball, P.E. class and winterguard (basically just colorguard performance without the marching band during the spring semester), and a medication that I was on. Even though I was 'small' in a sense to my build, I felt so unhappy and unhealthy at that weight. I was depressed, my insomnia got worse, and overall I was just as bad mentally at that weight as I was when I hit and went over 200 pounds and then over 250 pounds. I've always let my weight define me and limit me on the things that I believe I can do but I'm tired of that. I'm really glad I stumbled across this video today because I think this story is proof that I don't have to do something to justify why I'm doing it as well as motivation to try once again. So thank you for sharing your story.

  11. I recently completed switched the way I eat and exercise. For me it was either one extreme or another and with this change I can see myself being realistically healthy and maintaining it long term. I was exhausted from an exercise class yesterday and considering not going to one today because I usually have a rest day inbetween but this week won't have time to do one class at the end of the week so needed to make it up tonight. Your video inspired me to get my gear on and go. Thank you!

  12. Cool video, but why is Becky in this video? She adds nothing to the video, it’s all about the guy so why is she there?

  13. I know how he feels I am 12 years old and 4 months ago I weighed 195lbs today I weigh 150lbs it is hard and I did it because I wanted it

  14. I completely understand what he went through before and after he lost the weight. I myself lost 30 pounds over the summer through a very very strict diet and exercise routine. What in a way hurt me was the amount of “respect” I got from people who didn’t even respect me at all before I lost the weight. Everyone wanted to talk to me, I was apparently attractive now, and my parents stopped commenting on my weight. Before I lost the weight my parents would always say things like you should lose some weight like how do you expect to get a man to like you or you should lose some weight and be thin as your sister, things like that. It’s just astonishing to see how people treat you differently because of how your scale number has changed

  15. Its actually great to be fat when you're younger, because you kinda have to develop a personality.
    And when you lose weight, you're so much ahead of the ones who didnt have to go through that kind of hardship

  16. I relate to everything you said so much 😭 thank you for sharing your story. So happy I'm much healthier now, not for others but for myself.

  17. I feel people need to learn about being "healthy".
    Being healthy isn't about having abs & being tone. There is a spectrum of healthy from fit to being a BIT thick.
    You should be comfortable in your own skin but at the same time just be conscious that unhealthy eating habits & being too over wt will lead to health problems. It may not happen in a persons prime since their body can somewhat take it(depending on how unhealthy ur being) but once age the effects of unhealthy lifestyle kick in.

  18. I can identify with this. I should know better, but my immediate reaction is like…oh he's so handsome- I can't believe he felt exactly how I felt when I was a heavy little girl.

  19. I’m so scared to workout that I ended up with a sugar deficiency and my life is now worrisome because if I pass out on a train platform…

    splat

    Feel good with the body you’re in, or else you will end up bringing it on harder for yourself

  20. I totally understand his feeling cause I once categorize as fat from the age of 14 until 22. It sucks to spent almost a decade of my age depressing over people comments

  21. I was working in a college project with the whole class after hours, and it was an extremely hot day.

    I went to the bathroom, and saw huge sweat stains in my back, stomach, and man boobs.

    I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half.

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