Body Shaming, Body Confidence & How To Deal With Weight Loss Negativity

Body Shaming, Body Confidence & How To Deal With Weight Loss Negativity



hi everyone welcome back to my channel today I thought we'd have a nice relaxing chat about body confidence body image and dealing with people's comments and sometimes negativity and your own negativity when it comes to your body confidence I fell I guess something that a lot of us struggle with it especially apparent to me at the moment because I did a video very recently a couple of nights ago actually talking about all the downsides to weight loss both mental and physical if you haven't seen that yet other linking above and honestly guys it seems like pretty much every single one of you and they were like a lot of comments on that video like a hundred comments and he seems like 99.9% of us can relate to some degree – one of the elements that I was talking about when it comes to the body confidence negativity surrounding weight loss this downsize to weight loss both physical and mental so if you haven't seen that video I would definitely check it out because they felt like a lot of us can relate and you guys are so supportive of each other supportive of me and it was just such a lovely space in which to have that honest conversation and yeah so check out that video if you haven't seen it but today I did say that I was gonna talk about body confidence and body shaming in depth and I wanted to talk about that straight because a few things would definitely become apparent in my life that I have noticed and I feel like again if even just one person can relate to this or it helps one person to feel a little bit less alone that it helps so you have to be okay with the fact that you're not going to build body confident every single day of the week I feel like people think that weight loss is this magic cure it was with insecurities it deals with anxieties it can deal with depression it's just gonna make you so overall happy yourself and yes it will help you in terms of your confidence and yes dressing for your shape and dressing more confidently is one less thing to have to worry about but when it comes to these deep-seated issues as I've mentioned in the other video it takes time it takes a lot of work a lot of effort to come out of that mental space so I would definitely say be okay with the fact that someday you're going to be better at body confidence in others some days you're gonna think you look great and other days like everybody you can feel like you don't look that great and you are going to struggle with it but I think that's all about perspective it's all about balance it's all about trying new things trying new techniques and I think once you come to terms of the fact that I'm not going to feel your best self every single day and that's okay you're completely human and everybody feels at that to some degree even as several points throughout the day like you're not even going going to get a full day's where you feel amazing you might feel great in the morning and in the afternoon something's happened something shifted and you're not feeling that confident and that's okay everybody in the world can relate to you you're not alone so I would definitely say it's something to work on it's something I work on every single dynamic goal and some days are better than others and it's just about acknowledging that accepting it and moving on from it when you can so that's the first thing I wanted to talk about the next thing is something you can actually do so a tip that you guys can implement into your life that I think is gonna definitely help you out when it comes to you body confidence and body shaming negativity and all of that because it seems like a lot of us have dealt with body shaming where it comes from ourselves so it's come from others around us in some case this is some solid cases come from family and friends that are meant to support you meant to lift you and and that is certainly not always the case so the next point is try to hang out and surround yourself with people that lift you with people to give you confidence for people that make you feel like the best version of yourself we all have those people in our family that they mean well sometimes not all the time but generally you think that they mean well and they'll make a comment and they'll make a really offhanded comment like for example I had two comments in one weekend by two family members the first one was that I looked bulimic which was really hard to hear and hard to deal with and then in the same couple of hours so I'm very very close to me so I was starting to look anorexic childlike and I wasn't looking that great and I struggled with that for a couple of reasons the first reason is it's never nice to hear that's the first thing and secondly things like bulimia and anorexia are real life struggles for some people they are real life-threatening struggles that people live with every single day and they said so flippantly and it's so insensitive especially to people that are going through these illnesses in everyday life it's not something that should just be said willy nilly because so much of a smaller frame because someone is thin like it is not okay it's not okay to make that reference or that comparison it's insensitive it hurts and people are dealing with these struggles on an everyday basis and I'm sure they don't appreciate it when the phrase bulimia anorexia just gets chucked at someone's but it's not bulimic not anorexic might just be small phrase might just be thin it's just you know they have real real struggles to deal with and it's just very very insensitive to draw that comparison from nothing from no evidence no you know what I mean so I would just be very very careful to hang out with people that kind of do the opposite of that they lift you they give you body confidence they give you positivity I'm not saying they have to say you look great in everything because I wear things that I'm like I look at a picture I think that just does not suit me watch my semi made but my friends will all have said you look fabulous she looks great and I think if you just surround yourself with people that make you feel happy make you feel confident and make you feel relaxed and you don't have to try not to put the effort in I think that's really gonna help and again it's not always possible when it comes to family you can't really pick and choose but where you can in regards to friends try and be mindful of that and if you do find that there is someone who is just depleting on your resources and it's just very very negative towards you you also have to think about like where is that coming from is it coming from a pace and I've mentioned this before of genuine love genuine concern or is it coming from a place of jealousy anxiety insecurity on their part and basically lowers the crap that is not your stuff to deal with that they seem to just pass over onto you in hopes it kind of relieves their inner demons that they have by actually shoving them onto someone else it's just doesn't work like that it's not the case so try be really mindful about the company you keep and know that you always have a safe place here on my channel as I've said this before we've recently hit 20 mm I like that's amazing so for that but you will always find here on my channel the best bunch of people so supportive so so lovely and completely relatable as well so even if you just come here for a bit of that acceptance you're always welcome so yeah that's the next thing I wanted to say and this kind of leads me on very very nicely to my next point which is take any negativity with a pinch of salt so anything gets said to you have a think about again where it's coming from what they're like in their lives and try to be sensitive and be kind and just tried to be graceful about it I always try to spread love and positivity where I can even if I don't get the nicest of comments sometimes even if I get told I don't look great or I've gone too far I've gone too thick I look ill my chest bones stick out they do stick out I've got a lot of signage going on it's not my favorite thing but all I respond to that is by saying yeah it's not my favorite but it's me it's how I am a very small framed and that that's just my life that's who I am I hope you're doing really well you look wonderful and and that's all I do I tried to spike the message that I would like to have onto me and I just kind of radiate positivity where I can I'm not saying I'm perfect sometimes I do think like you are a real-life Dementor and you need to just go away but there I think about what what where is that coming from for them what could they possibly be going through I mean I know in my life I've had a lot of stresses to deal with in recent mom's but I mentioned this on a post that I did very recently where I got a comment stating that I lost my Sparkle and I changed and I was sort of a lot of people were worrying about me basically and when it came from a place of love in casillas majority of the comments did I took it on board I appreciate it I want to know but it's the way that people can sort of run with it and just think that they know best when it comes to your body and they absolutely don't no one knows your body like you do nobody knows what you're going through at home nobody knows your situation so kind of take confidence and take ownership in your situation and just trust that you will make the right choices with you in your body and just have confidence in yourself and don't be driven by the validation of others be happy with the validation that you give yourself I don't search for anyone else's validation guys and I think and I've only really started doing that this year and honestly it has made me so much happier and freer and that's not just with weight loss as in every area of life I go for me I'm doing me and honestly guys when you can do you're just it's amazing how much fear you feel and it's nice to validate yourself it's nice to think like I'm a good person I'm a worthy person I'm a happy person and I don't need anyone to tell me that they don't know what I'm about you guys know what I show you and that's literally it and it's lovely but for the most part you guys think I'm a nice person I hope that that is what comes out on this channel I'm sure it does because I really got my way to try and be that person but as long as I think I'm a good person and as long as I know what I'm about and I know I'm healthy and I know that I'm not anorexic or bulimic or doing things that aren't that great for my body I'm okay with that and I thought like when you guys get to that place it's so much more freeing so that is definitely something to think about and the next part is try and get perspective on the matter and I say this in every area of weight loss in every area of any journey whatever you're doing in your life if you can get perspective on the matter it will really help you to dissect the situation and think you know what I'm not gonna deal with this as a whole I'm gonna dissect it and I'm gonna do one bit at a time and I'm just gonna completely deal with things in little chunks because number one I spy less overwhelming and it's a far less all-encompassing anxiety but also it helps you to really kind of write things down and think is this a massive deal is this going to affect me is this something that I'm worrying about this time next week it's not is it important and the thing to remember is the most beautiful people in the world and I say beautiful very loosely because that's relative to you're talking to you you might think that Gigi Hadid is most beautiful person in the world yet you might think someone else is it if you're teasing that the beholder as they say but I can guarantee you every single person in the world has some degree of physical insecurity no matter how amazing they look so just try and take comfort from that just know that it not that seek comfort in other people's anxieties but take comfort in the fact that you're completely normal to have these insecurities and everybody in the world has them no matter how beautiful you think they are so just bear that I might have perspective know what your body's been through know that it's not the be-all end-all the size on the scale besides in the back of your dress the number on the scale what genius you have to fit into like it doesn't matter health and happiness and kindness will carry you through in in your life and make you a much better and rounded person than the number and your the dress your honor me and just just have perspective on it and the last thing I wanted to say and this is probably one of the most important things guys and the things that I wanted to touch on today and it is self love it's hard it's hard to give yourself constantly insurance it's hard to tell yourself you look great when it's not in your DNA you're not built that way you spend a long time with the imposter syndrome saying – you shouldn't be wearing it you shouldn't be doing that is how to kind of retrain your brain but I kind of feel like if you can't be kind to yourself and you can't love yourself how can you expect others to do it for you like I am my number one biggest fan and I wasn't for a really really long time and I think what I came to realize was that no one's gonna look out for me like they look out for themselves obviously when it comes to family it's totally different and we we all tried to do the best for our family but when it comes to you have to look after yourself it's kind of like the whole thing on the plane when you're putting the mask on it says put it on you before you assist the child of someone else who needs that help and it's because if you're not well in yourself if you're not happy in yourself you don't have any happiness or any help that you can give to others so you're far better to just have that time and I really need to practice what I preach because I don't make a lot of time for myself but when it comes to self-love self-acceptance my self-worth I know my Worth and I again I don't search that validation from others and it's a really nice face it's a really great place to be and it's taught me 32 years almost 33 but it's worth it so really try your hardest to give yourself a bit of love and care even if you just say to yourself I look great in that dress or you know what I'm looking really happy today I'm looking great today I'm feeling great today and I deserve this this is exactly what I deserve but what's hard for it or I mean just compliment yourself I'm not saying be a big head and just be like I'm the bee's knees but there's nothing wrong with you guys giving yourself that confidence boost even if you just do it in your mind there's nothing wrong with that at all so definitely self love and self worth is something to think about and all the things you can do that a tiny little side notes is you know just for your shades try and do a bit of research of what suits you that make me cute I feel a little bit more confident and you might be wearing things that you don't get completely flat to you but that could just be the shapes that you're wearing so maybe try and get mindful as I seek advice from friends you think always look great maybe they could advise you and then there's one final thought that I wanted to leave you guys with today and I would love it if you can all comment down below and let me know your tips that you have to share any experiences that you have had with body shaming body confidence body negativity whether it's come from others around you or whether you've done it to yourself like I'd love to hear about it a book to support you guys for the final thought I wanted to leave you with today and what it does challenge you guys have a think about is everybody is too busy worrying about how they look and what they're giving out the vibes that they're giving out to even consider or worrying about your insecurities and honestly how often have you ever looked at someone and thought oh why they even wearing that you don't you look at them and you think you know what you look great I never used to get my legs out because of cellulite it's a real struggle with it and cellulite is something that even aside date now I still have like I'm not cellulite free but you can still have shot and have cellulite and I guarantee you everyone is far more worrying about what they look like to notice your cellulite and also there'll be someone out there that notice it and think she know what fair play she looks great and that that might give them that little confidence boost to know that you don't have to be perfect you don't have to look like this perfect version of yourself to wear whatever the hell you want to wear so I wanted to leave you guys with that thought today and end and a really happy super positive note because when you're talking about body confidence body shaming body negativity impostor syndrome it can be quite a draining topic and it can be one that really grates on earth and it's hard it's really really hard guys I wanted to leave you with a positive thought and I also encourage you to get in touch in the comments box down below so you can have a chat about this because it was so interesting to chat with you guys on that body image video on the video that I mentioned my insecurities about the weight loss at the downsize to weight loss and I just felt like what all in the same boat so it'd be great to have that support again on this video but thank you guys so much for watching and if this is the first video of mining or seeing I hope you stick around subscribe to see more content like this from me along with ye today's fashion videos Beauty favors all of that jars and I'll see you my next video

20 comments

  1. Congratulations on your subscriber numbers – not surprised at all as this channel is awesome! This video reminded me when my youngest daughter was a teenager she was very slim and some person told me she had an eating disorder! I was totally shocked because she ate like a horse! She did every sport going and was so confident! She is still slim now and has oodles of body confidence! Some people are just insensitive and ignorant! Don’t let them get you down, you are a beautiful person inside and out! Keep on being so honest on your channel – I love your videos!💕💕

  2. Amazing. You have such a positive attitude and inspire me to be more kind and understanding in my own life. Congratulations on reaching 23k, totally deserved. Xx

  3. That will just tell us what an amazing person you are dealing with comments and turning them into positive ones. You certainly haven't lost your sparkle your fantastic 💕💕💕

  4. I absolutely love your channel. I show up every day just to soak up your positivity! And you always brighten my day and inspire me to continue on with my WW journey. I’ve always struggled with body shaming myself and imposter syndrome telling myself I shouldn’t wear certain things or I can wear them when I lose the weight. Thank you for sharing your tips for body confidence and just loving yourself. Love you and everything you share on your channel!

  5. This was an awesome video to watch Natasha. 🌻 Can literally feel the positivity coming through the screen.🙃 Enjoyed it very much. Xxx

  6. Thank you for the comments about eating disorders. I have suffered with bulimia . Your words meant so much

  7. Hahaha, "You are a real life dementor and you need to go away"! Love how you try to be positive and snap back at their rude comments. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. I love how you point out people might be making negative comments out of their own insecurities.

  8. You look fabulous and we all need to have confidence in ourselves – inside and outside! ♥ Elle

  9. I'm now 43 & it took me 40 yrs & 2 1/2 yrs of therapy to accept me & know who I am, what i like & how much i actually appreciate & love myself & my body, i have a mum tum, I'm a size 8/10 5ft 4in & have stopped dying my hair so I'm a grey/ blond now & so happy. I ditched my cheating husband too. I have multiple sclerosis so not every day is a good day, but I'm ok with that, I'm just happy to be alive, i dont care what number the scales say, as long as my clothes fit I'm happy,
    I have been shamed all my life by family & friends so i just keep myself to myself, have my 7 children & 3 grandchildren & I'm good. I'm honest, polite & try to give out good vibes as much as i can, my life is how i want it to be right now & hopefully others are happy too xx
    Your videos are so spot on, it's like your in my head when i have spoken to others who have gone through a tough time like this & asked for help x thank you xx

  10. You have not lost your sparkle. In my opinion you have gained it! You have more confidence and it shows which it's a bad thing. You aren't prideful and self centered about it. You are sweet and encouraging to others. And just because you can see chest bones doesn't mean you are to small. The first place most people lose is in their chest area.

  11. When I would get all self loathing with myself my sister always said," you are not that special" Everyone has issues problems and matters that are hard for them and much harder than what you have going on so remember that. Not that special to be the only person in the world who is having those feelings. It used to irritate me but now that she is gone I would take that conversation all day long. I tell myself that all the time "not that special" and get my head back on straight.

  12. Hi Natasha! You know what I say to those negative commenting people? Why thank you very much that is the nicest thing I have heard all day…it turns things back on them . It shocks them. As a person who actually was bulimic about 30+ years ago, using bulimic or anorexic as an adjective is not good. I hate it. What it does is cut the person worse than a knife. A person with bulimia or anorexia definitely have body dysmorphia too. It makes it much worse. We turn it inward and intensify the process that we think we should be on. Luckily that stage of my life is well over with. With all that being said, I agree with you 100%. I also live with the idea that what everyone else thinks means nothing to me but to them it does mean something. Too bad. That is not my problem, that is a them problem. If I am not liked, its perfectly ok because I like me just fine. When others have negative thoughts, its more than likely how they make themselves feeling better.

  13. You seem like such a lovely positive person. Thank you for making such great videos, we definitely need to support each other. Remember your why and remember that if people are negative. Most negative people are just reflecting their own negative feelings on to you.
    God bless you Natasha (great name, my daughter is called Natasha 😀)

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